the eighteenth of august

today was the first day of school.

and these boys were excited. super excited.

because they love friends---i mean, learning. yes, learning. if you ask them their favorite subject in school, ethen will tell you lunch. cohen will tell you recess. see, i told you my kids looooooove learning. they get their love of friends, oops, i mean learning, from their mommy.

cohen is a big (but little) fourth grader and that is hard for me to wrap my brain around. fourth grade! i remember being in fourth grade. like it was yesterday. but it certainly wasn't yesterday since i'm old and all, but still. i remember it. like it was yesterday. now my very own cute-little-howling-chubby-baby-boy is making his very own fourth grade memories. how can this be? my heart breaks a little every time i think about how old he is getting. but then it gets put back together again because he still loves me. and pigs too. so if those things stay the same then i know i can be healed.

note to cohen: never stop loving your mommy! never. okay? okay. and pigs too. they'll be sad if you stop loving them. but not as sad as your mommy will be. nine years ago i made you promise me that you would stay a 6 month old roly-poly baby forever, but you must have had your fleshy little digits crossed, so i'll forgive that one. i knew it was a lot to ask of you anyways. just always love your mommy and things will be great. okay? sounds peachy.

p.s. please don't cross your fingers on this promise. my heart almost couldn't take that first broken promise.


and this boy? my number two boy is in grade number two! how can this be? HOW CAN THIS BE!? shouldn't he still be rockin' out in preschool? he should, he should. actually "bouncin'-burpin'-baby-buddy-bouncin'-baby-boy" should still be drooling away on his "untel nate's" lap. as you can see, i have a little issue with time and it stealing away my children. my children!

but at least these kiddos are excited for where time has put them. me, not so much. it is something i am working on. growth is good, right? growth is good. i hear this a lot, but it is hard when it happens so fast. and leaves stretch marks.

and i have some serious time stretch marks that i'm dealing with here. they'll fade and i'll not really notice them pretty soon, but right now they're fresh and i'm not happy about having discovered them today.

i love these kids. and i do love where they're at, too. growth is hard, but it is good. i just need reminders that it is good. being a fourth grader is cool. being a second grader is cool.

its just hard when time sneaks in and transports my babies into grades that i, myself remember so well.

those darn stretch marks are never easy or pretty. but at least they'll fade before the new ones set in and life will find its new normal again.

but seriously, time.........why fourth grade so soon? and why my babies? they're mine.

so here's my promise to you, time: i'll be happy with what you've done to my babies, if you would just simmer down and do it a little slower. like, a lot slower. going from crib to fourth grade in the blink of an eye is a little much, don't you think? i think so. my heart can't take it. signs of aging i know, but you did that to me, after all.

you be nice, and i'll be happy. done? done.

i think i speak for all the mommies out there.

i know i speak for all the mommies out there.

traveling commode at dusk

i hope this toilet picture finds you well and in the midst of having a quiet sunday evening with the family.

and...........

this picture's for you, matthew. thanks for using all your pre-manly teen powers to help dbaggs on this excursion. i hope you don't think your auntie is too weird now.

come on. toilets are always funny. even funnier than a urinal. also, a lot easier to photograph than a urinal. just so you know.

sleep deprived man seeks nap during shoot. photo-abuse prevails.

meet dave. or dbaggs. he'll even answer to "hey larry. larry! hey, buddy!" if you yell that at him while he's out. whatever you want to call him, it doesn't matter. just don't try and take this man's picture on a lazy saturday afternoon when the man wants a nap. he'll certainly oblige to having his picture taken because he's nice like that. (and doesn't like to tell his wifey no.) but don't count on him to cooperate.

well, i guess he cooperated pretty well for this one, but watch out below! no really. i'm warning you now. scroll through quickly to the next picture if your eyes can't handle the one below.

view at your own risk:

ttthhhhhhhhhhllllllick! awesome. a tired husband who's half asleep looking like a wildebeest trying to lick you through your car window at one of those drive through safaris. notice the tears in the corners of this daddy's eyes. it only adds to the loveliness of this fine portrait. at least ethen was cooperating.

dalen, being the hardest child in the world to get even a snapshot of his face while his eyes are open, cooperated. what you can't see in this picture is that dbaggs eyes are closed. like, the asleep kind of closed.

it's a good thing larry woke up for this shot because he looks downright dreamy in it. "looook into my eyes......i want to make......biscuits". isn't he enchanting? i guess he shouldn't be to you, but he sure is to me. even the pasty white boy he's holding makes my heart skip a beat. for entirely different reasons though. (doesn't he look like me though? i always like to hear it, so just tell me one more time to make my day.......ok, since you won't make my day, you can't deny that our skin matches at the very least.)

damn! shoot. i mean, dang! when this man is awake, he can sure take a fiiiiiiiine picture. hot daddy, being a daddy. it doesn't get any manlier than that. the chest hair and "circle beard" (as gaven calls it) only add to the "i ooooze testosterone, come and join my man club" look. if only i could look that good in pictures. my self portraits always have a look of angry woman meets death, mixed with a little bit of an eye that can shoot laser beams from it. i might look alright in person, but watch out if you ever see me in print.

i might shoot your eye out.

i'll keep pictures of me to a minimum. its for your safety and that of the general bloblic. better safe than sorry.

the fourth

happy fourth of july!

stay safe and watch out for those bottle rockets!

f-words, revisited

last night we had the opportunity to attend a wonderful little pre-fourth of july gathering.

the first item of fun on the agenda for the night included fishing and "frowing" rocks. unfortunately, the pictures i took of those activities turned out really bad. fortunately for you, you won't be seeing them here. the second item on the list-o-fun for the night included a fire. a fire that took 6 daddies to light. i know what you must be thinking. 6 men lighting a fire. must be a biiiiiiig, manly fire lit with testosterone fumes and chest hair. right? lets just say it was impressive. and it did the job. it made some great s'mores,too. i had some pictures of the manly fire, but it wreaked of testosterone making it unpostable.

even the mommies enjoyed the s'mores. and a foto shoot. well, they endured a foto shoot. it was done by a man. a man that doesn't know his wifey's camera very well. but i won't name names here. it might make him feel bad about his mad camera "skillz". however, this man does have some serious fire-startin' skills. he even tossed a few of his own testosterone laden chest hairs into that fire to really get it going. and by the way, these ladies look quite fantastic, don't they? except for that one girl wearing the hat. my, what big man hands she has!

aren't these the cutest firefly catching jars you've ever seen? they're the cutest ones i've ever laid eyes on. they were hand decorated by a certain crafty sister f who threw the lovely soiree. its a really good thing these jars are pretty indestructible because my kids dropped them on any hard surface that came their way. including our cement garage floor. immediately upon exiting our vehicle. fireflies still inside.

the fun came to an end as all the jars were done being filled up with the nights main attraction. and by filled up, i mean each kiddo finally caught at least one of those slow flying little guys. fireflies are hard to catch when its really dark out (and when you're a mommy thats a little night blind). whats harder still, is catching those darn things on camera. but i finally got one. 68 shots later. and that my friends, can be classified as a waste of precious time. and 67 shots. but let me assure you, that little yellowish-green blob in that picture is, infact, a real firefly. i worked hard for that shot. actually i just got frustrated and gave up for the night. because really, who sits there trying to get shots of fireflies while all their friends are gathered around the fireside chatting the night away? not me. well, ok it was me. but isn't that picture worth it? ok, I guess it wasn't, but at least i got the shot that i set out to get. even if there was just one measly firefly in it.

all in all, we had a fantastic night full of my favorite f-words. and none of my unfavorite f-words. that i heard at least.

an evening filled with friends, family time, and even those elusive fireflies, is a great night in my book. and the fourth-of-july theme was icing on the cake.

the tongue!

i think i know why this boy has a lisp..........................

there's a storm a brewin'

it's a balmy 86 degrees. the national weather service has just issued a severe thunderstorm warning. no rain yet, but there's lots of lightning and some pretty spectacular clouds mixed with great evening sunlight.


check-out the following pictures and enjoy the storm. storm clouds, that is.

well, it started raining now. that means we're heading back inside for some microwave s'mores (since we don't have any cookies). and to put a certain 9 year old boy (who never wants to go to bed) to bed.

man hands strikes again

tonight, as i was making some tasty guacamole, man hands decided to exert their forceful selves onto my unsuspecting michael graves garlic press. this puppy is made of solid metal. and is quite heavy on top of that. seemingly unbreakable. until man hands got a hold of it. one tight squeeze is all it took from my pasty white man digits to break my lovely 10 year old press. just look at the picture below and marvel at man hands strength. and whiteness. so white that my camera couldn't stand the brightness of them.

man hands do come in handy almost as much as they cause problems. they are stronger than the 5 sets of real man hands that live with me.

even stronger than the manlier hands i've been married to for twelve years now. tweeeeelve yeeeeeaaaaaarrrssssssssss!

speaking of twelve years ago.

this happened:

check out those man hands in that photo! looks like only a teenager would get a picture taken like that. let alone, while still on temple grounds. and then like the picture enough to get it printed. crazy teen brides. jeez....when will they ever learn. but in my defense, it was dbaggs who was the instigator on that shot. not me. i swear.

only old people are married for twelve years. like out of style fuddy duddy people who are stuck in the 1980's. and only young people grab bums like that. and that shot is recreated daily here. (again, i blame dbaggs.)

so are we young or old?

i'm a little confused.

but still a whole lot in love. (cheesy, I know, but true.)

happy anniversary to us!

(a day late. it was yesterday, really)

founding fathers and stonehenge?

when sending out your 4th of july salutations this year, don't forget to include a picture of stonehenge with them. i think super spy ethen is trying to tell us something.

what? you say you don't send out any 4th of july greetings? how unpatriotic of you.

when you are a super spy who protects his family as well as his country, you tend to be very patriotic. independence day is the favorite holiday of every super spy. founding fathers, flames, fun, fireworks, food, fishing, family, freedom, fstonehenge..........the "f" words could go on and on. but they won't. because some "f" words should never be said. ever.

i think super spy ethen might be onto something. this might be a subtle clue that our freedom and stonehenge might be interconnected. is this where the founding fathers came from? did they draw up the declaration of independence within its magical walls? maybe the little green men we've all heard about had a pow wow with them there and taught them all how to shape this fine nation. there is a strong possibility that this might be true.

maybe in a few years this information will be declassified and we'll all know the truth. at least he's giving us a heads up this year. get ready to edit those textbooks. and your greeting cards. don't be so weary of the little green guys, too. i guess they're really here to help.

so happy independence day to you all and keep in mind that pretty soon, nothing will quite relay the message of "let freedom ring" like stonehenge.

or little green men fishing your flag out of the pond.

we might have them to thank for our freedom someday.

are those all yours?

while i was at the "bread store" the other day, a lady asked if "all those boys" were mine. i told her yes. then she asked me if they were all brothers. i told her yes again, but this time i gave her a rather confused look. how could they be all mine and not be all brothers? i guess the lady must have sensed that her question was a little odd, and tried to make things all better by saying, "i was just wondering if they were all brothers because they all have a different hair color, and they might have had a different daddy". really? a different daddy? well, that just makes the whole awkwardness of that comment go right away! again, i gave her a funny look but couldn't really think of anything to say back to her. the woman cleared her throat, told me that they were all cute, and then walked away.

i have to agree with her, though. on the cute part at least. well, i guess i can agree with the different hair color too. but the different daddy thing? not these boys. they are all dbaggs clones with a little bit of me mixed in. but just a little bit.

i wonder what that woman's comments would have been if she noticed they all have a different eye color! just check it out for yourself:

dark brown hair with big brown eyes! definitely not my child, and definitely his daddy's. dbaggs figured out a way to skip the whole gene mixing and replicate himself this time. i was only the host body. no jbaggs genes required.

blonde hair and happy blue eyes. this one must be mine. and boy am i happy that this one is mine. he's irresistible. he looks like me right? just make me happy and say yes. you don't need to tell the truth. (just for the record, this one is dbaggs spawn, too. they all are.)

light brown hair and bluish green eyes, complete with the cutest set of freckles i have ever seen. a sure way to ethen's heart is to mention that he has his mommy's freckles. he blushes every time. i think he loves them as much as i do.

very dark brown hair and amazing hazel eyes. seriously....this boy's eyes are amazing. and no, i am not biased at all. imagine how he looks when he's smiling. just in case you 3rd grade girls are reading--this boy only has eyes for his mommy! and for pigs. pink pigs. that oink. and roll in mud. so if you meet that criteria, then he's all yours.

and just in case the bread store lady is reading this, here is the answer to your question:

yes, those boys are all mine. and they are all dbaggs brood as well. i am just as confused about it all as you are. or seemed to be. but, let me tell you that genetics is an amazing thing. its a little confusing, too. i've got four pieces of evidence to prove it.

and boy do i love "all those boys".

for the love of peanut butter jelly

this boy is in love. and has been for a full year now.

everyday at 11:30am he has a date with his one true lunchy love. he's very consistent and never late. (unlike his mommy.)

don't get me wrong here. he's played the field in his 4 year existence.

dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets? not anymore. those are for toddlers.

a great restaurant excursion with a beloved peanut allergic cousin whose own love of pizza equals that of gaven's devotion to his dear "peanut butter jelly"? nope. gaven will always prove faithful to his lunchy love and wishes on these days that he was really back at home. sitting at the table. on a date with "peanut butter jelly".

but anyway, back to the date:

occasionally, gaven demands that the date begin a little early. that's never good style. dates like these take a little time to get ready and don't like being rushed. but really, it is the sandwich maker that isn't quite ready to let the date begin before its time. sandwich makers should never be haggled. or begged. especially at 9 o'clock in the morning. and definitely not as soon as the date with "frostamini wheats" has just wrapped up. believe me. its just bad style.

tasty bread, grape jelly, peanut butter. gaven's midday meal trinity. the sandwich maker is also a key player. the pair may have never met if it were not for the sandwich maker.

on casual dates, "peanut butter jelly" is served on a paper towel instead of the formality of a corelle plate. these are gaven's favorite dates. these are the sandwich maker's favorite dates. no coaching needed. just quick and easy, and no wondering whether a "high-five-see-ya-later" would be appropriate or a long wet "wash" for the corelle would be the proper finish. just fold up the edges, don't let the crumbs fall, and throw away. the perfect end to a perfect date.

so come join us at 11:30am on any day you'd like. gaven loves company. and the sandwich maker would love to set you up. if you're lucky, the sandwich maker might even let you wash your own plate. if you promise not to break it in the process. but if you're like gaven, you'll want the casual date. you get to throw away your crumb filled paper towel all by yourself. that's a real treat. just ask the four year old set.

interview with a 6 year old male

please state your name:

e-t-h-e-n. ethen.

how old are you, ethen?

can i just say 7? are you going to write, "can i just say 7?!" ok, i'm 6 1/2.

ethen, i've noticed that you have 22 pencils in your backpack. why do you have so many?

because i like pencils. i have a pencil collection you know. i've been collecting them for 2 years now. no, i mean 2 1/2 years.

everyone knows that you are a super spy, ethen. where did you learn all your super spy skills?

well, i learned them from myself. i just do 'em. i love to be a spy because you get to spy on people and they never see you.

since you are a super spy, are there any super powers that go along with that?

no. not really. but i am super strong and i have giant muscles. i can lift up this chair. do you want me to lift it up for you? i can even lift it up with 4,000 cohens in it! mom, i have a band-aid. see.......

**warning!** the next picture you're about to see is of ethen instantly going into anti-vegetable mode. all you need to do is say that terrible "v" word and this will happen:




i'm going to say the "v" word now, ethen. try to contain yourself. ethen, why do you think "vegetables" are sooooooooo terrible? which one is the worst to eat?

the worst one is green beans!!! because they don't taste good. they taste terrible! they really do taste terrible! they all taste terrible! but the best one is pickles.

pickles are technically a fruit. oh well. at least you're willingly eating something that at one time or another was growing from a plant. ok, final question: what is your favorite color?

that's easy! you know it. its a "leprechaun "g" " color. guessed it? green! did you know that, mom?

this completes my interview with our strongest and sneakiest resident super spy vegetable hater.

if there's one thing you can take away from this interview, let it be the true knowledge that ethen hates his vegetables. all vegetables. and that is stating it so very nicely. i need a thesaurus to look up better words to fully describe his true and utter disdain of those horrible non-sweet goodies that come from the ground. ethen has always and hopefully won't always "strongly dislike" his vegetable friends. i can only pray for a miracle that one day the terrible truth of his vegetable abhorrence will subside.

pray for him, won't you?

maybe we can convert him over to vegetarianism?! or at the very least, tempt him into being omnivorous. as it stands right now, this boy is strictly "meatatarian".

that wish is probably right up there with the rankings of "when pigs fly" or, dare i say it, "when hell freezes over".

don't worry about the clowns, though.

they won't need coats anytime soon................

interview with a 9 year old male

please state your name:

can i do my nickname? darn. ok. cohen.

how old are you?

nine. i'm nine and i just turned nine 2 months ago.

what is your favorite color?

hot pink!? do you think that there are boy colors and girl colors?

seriously? hot pink? alrighty. cohen, do you have a favorite food?

ribs! did you think i was going to say that? mom, can i have a bunch of legos for christmas?

what do you want to be when you grow up, cohen?

you know.......a pig farmer. mom, if i ever have a pig farm will you ever come to it? mom? will you??

no. pigs are too stinky and naked. next question. what do you want for dinner tonight?

ribs! from famous dave's. can we really get some tonight? please?




well, there you have it. cohen likes hot pink (that was a surprise to me, but not too surprising), famous dave's and loves everything, and i mean everything, about pigs. he always has. but will he always? i guess some things you may never out grow.

cohen wants you to know that pigs are cute, pink and tasty. that's a triple threat in his book!

check back soon for more interviews with the males in my life.

can you guess who's next? there's only (only!) three left to choose from. but two of them may not comply.........and i'm not talking about the six year old.

interview with a 4 year old male

please state your name:

what's dat!? how you do dat!?

i'm asking you what your name is, gaven. so, what's your name?

gah-haah-beeh-hin!!

how old are you, gaven?

dis many.

what's your favorite color?

dark blue, light blue.

do you have a favorite food?

well, yeah. pizza and plain macaroni and cheese.

plain macaroni and cheese. really? ok. next question. what do you want to be when you grow up?

an army man. i was just kidding about being a lion. i don't like them anymore. they always bite.

what super power do you have?

light blue, dark blue. oh, super power? my super power helps me fly. well, i was just kidding. i don't have a super power. only if batman gives me some. like spaghetti meatballs with red sauce.

ooooooook. i'm not sure how to take that one. onto the next question. what do you want for lunch today?

peeeaaaa-nut buh-tter jee-eeeh-eeellly. how about some cheese crackers? i mean, peeeaaaa-nut buh-tter jee-eeeh-eeelly saaa-aah-aammmich!

gaven, do you know what day it is today?

huuuuh, i don't know. what day is it? maybe sunday or wednesday or ffffrriday. can i go now?

i hope you all enjoyed this interview with "gaben" as much as i did. some of the answer surprised me. some of the other answers, well, they left me a little confused. plain macaroni and cheese? what does that mean? have we been serving macaroni and cheese wrong all along? guess i better start searching the cookbooks for that one.

stay tuned for another interview with yet another male that resides in this household. there's lots of them to choose from................

spies and the truth about clowns

this is ethen. he is one of our resident spies.

i was very fortunate to get these shots of him. he's usually on a top secret mission with his secret agent super spy brothers.

occasionally, ethen declassifies his once top secret information.

just the other day he decided to let us in on a little secret the world (yes, the wooorld) has been keeping from its precious citizens. children and adults alike have all been in the dark about this piece of information i'm about to unload on you all.

brace yourselves.

no, really. you better be sitting down for this one.

ready?

ok.

*****clowns follow satan*****

you read that right.

clowns.......follow.......satan.

who knew?

you might have had an idea about this tasty tidbit that super spy ethen has unveiled. but did you really know?

i had my suspicions about this for a long time. small children the world over have had their suspicions too.

consider yourselves among the lucky to be "in the know".

super spy ethen gives his blessing to spread the word.