for the love of peanut butter jelly

this boy is in love. and has been for a full year now.

everyday at 11:30am he has a date with his one true lunchy love. he's very consistent and never late. (unlike his mommy.)

don't get me wrong here. he's played the field in his 4 year existence.

dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets? not anymore. those are for toddlers.

a great restaurant excursion with a beloved peanut allergic cousin whose own love of pizza equals that of gaven's devotion to his dear "peanut butter jelly"? nope. gaven will always prove faithful to his lunchy love and wishes on these days that he was really back at home. sitting at the table. on a date with "peanut butter jelly".

but anyway, back to the date:

occasionally, gaven demands that the date begin a little early. that's never good style. dates like these take a little time to get ready and don't like being rushed. but really, it is the sandwich maker that isn't quite ready to let the date begin before its time. sandwich makers should never be haggled. or begged. especially at 9 o'clock in the morning. and definitely not as soon as the date with "frostamini wheats" has just wrapped up. believe me. its just bad style.

tasty bread, grape jelly, peanut butter. gaven's midday meal trinity. the sandwich maker is also a key player. the pair may have never met if it were not for the sandwich maker.

on casual dates, "peanut butter jelly" is served on a paper towel instead of the formality of a corelle plate. these are gaven's favorite dates. these are the sandwich maker's favorite dates. no coaching needed. just quick and easy, and no wondering whether a "high-five-see-ya-later" would be appropriate or a long wet "wash" for the corelle would be the proper finish. just fold up the edges, don't let the crumbs fall, and throw away. the perfect end to a perfect date.

so come join us at 11:30am on any day you'd like. gaven loves company. and the sandwich maker would love to set you up. if you're lucky, the sandwich maker might even let you wash your own plate. if you promise not to break it in the process. but if you're like gaven, you'll want the casual date. you get to throw away your crumb filled paper towel all by yourself. that's a real treat. just ask the four year old set.

interview with a 6 year old male

please state your name:

e-t-h-e-n. ethen.

how old are you, ethen?

can i just say 7? are you going to write, "can i just say 7?!" ok, i'm 6 1/2.

ethen, i've noticed that you have 22 pencils in your backpack. why do you have so many?

because i like pencils. i have a pencil collection you know. i've been collecting them for 2 years now. no, i mean 2 1/2 years.

everyone knows that you are a super spy, ethen. where did you learn all your super spy skills?

well, i learned them from myself. i just do 'em. i love to be a spy because you get to spy on people and they never see you.

since you are a super spy, are there any super powers that go along with that?

no. not really. but i am super strong and i have giant muscles. i can lift up this chair. do you want me to lift it up for you? i can even lift it up with 4,000 cohens in it! mom, i have a band-aid. see.......

**warning!** the next picture you're about to see is of ethen instantly going into anti-vegetable mode. all you need to do is say that terrible "v" word and this will happen:




i'm going to say the "v" word now, ethen. try to contain yourself. ethen, why do you think "vegetables" are sooooooooo terrible? which one is the worst to eat?

the worst one is green beans!!! because they don't taste good. they taste terrible! they really do taste terrible! they all taste terrible! but the best one is pickles.

pickles are technically a fruit. oh well. at least you're willingly eating something that at one time or another was growing from a plant. ok, final question: what is your favorite color?

that's easy! you know it. its a "leprechaun "g" " color. guessed it? green! did you know that, mom?

this completes my interview with our strongest and sneakiest resident super spy vegetable hater.

if there's one thing you can take away from this interview, let it be the true knowledge that ethen hates his vegetables. all vegetables. and that is stating it so very nicely. i need a thesaurus to look up better words to fully describe his true and utter disdain of those horrible non-sweet goodies that come from the ground. ethen has always and hopefully won't always "strongly dislike" his vegetable friends. i can only pray for a miracle that one day the terrible truth of his vegetable abhorrence will subside.

pray for him, won't you?

maybe we can convert him over to vegetarianism?! or at the very least, tempt him into being omnivorous. as it stands right now, this boy is strictly "meatatarian".

that wish is probably right up there with the rankings of "when pigs fly" or, dare i say it, "when hell freezes over".

don't worry about the clowns, though.

they won't need coats anytime soon................